Four Years Ago, I Died
by cloudstriferk
Summary: Four years ago, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived supposedly betrayed the wizarding world by joining Voldemort in the final battle and disappeared after the battle. Four years later he reappeared.
1. Prologue

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

So this is my second fic. But my first in Harry Potter. Anyway, I'm not sure if I should continue. No confidence whatsoever in keeping them in character. However, like some people say "If you want to read in-character characters, read the book." I'm sorry if they are too OOC...

**31st July 2008:** This is a betad version by Audrey33. Thanks!!

* * *

**Prologue**

A high cruel laugh was heard as Hermione ran to the aid of Ron, who was being overpowered by a tall Death Eater. She could see Harry battling two of the masked fiends at a distance away.

He seemed to be doing okay, so she concentrated in helping Ron first. Then a dark, hideous figure appeared before Harry. She sent a _Diffindo_ at the Death Eater and stupefied him. Helping Ron up, she then hurried towards Harry, Ron tagging along with a slight limp.

She shot a blasting curse at Voldemort, who seemed to be talking with Harry.

It was deflected easily.

By Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived.

The wizarding world would soon fall in despair as their Savior joined Lord Voldemort in his cause for immortality and power.

??

**One year later**

"You want to adopt me?" a young boy, eyes bright with hope said disbelievingly as he stared intently at the stranger.

"Yes, Sylvain. May I call you Sylvain?" the small skinny stranger with a hoarse voice asked.

"Y-yes you can…" Sylvain stuttered, looking into the stranger's blank glassy eyes. Noticing scars around the man's dull green eyes, the boy blurted out, "Are you blind?" before he could stop himself.

"Yes I am. Does that bother you?" the man asked softly.

"N-no it doesn't. I'm sorry. But why?" Realizing his inane question, he rephrased it. "I mean, why are you adopting me? I don't even know your name."

The man gave a sad smile before saying, "My name isn't important, but if you must know, you can call me Harry."

Harry gave a small pause, then said, "I want to adopt you because I do not plan to get married, and I need an heir to continue the Potter's legacy. I picked you because your grandfather was a Potter. Your mother was his illegitimate daughter."

"Oh… So must I change my name to Potter?" The boy cast his hazel eyes downwards, remembering his real parents who died in the war over a year ago.

"You can decline my offer. However, if you accept you would have to change your name. You can choose not to, until you inherit the Potter fortune after my death. Do you need time to think? I can come back in a week," Harry said.

The eight year old boy fidgeted in his seat, occasionally glancing in Harry's direction, brows furrowed in thought. After a few minutes of silence, a shy hopeful voice whispered almost intelligibly, "Ok. Do I get to call you father if you adopt me?"

Sylvain watched as the older man started in suprise. "If you want to."

??

**Three years later**

"Father! I got my letter!"

The door burst open, and a boy holding an opened letter was half skipping, half jumping into the library towards a young man with long black hair tinged with gray strands.

"I'm going to school!! Yeah!!" Sylvain jumped into his father's arms with a huge smile plastered on his face. Then he quieted down and said, "You'll be there right? Can you stay nearer and visit often?"

"I can't Sylvain, and you know it. You are going to a boarding school. You'll do fine in Beauxbatons on your own, Sylvain. You don't need me there."

'_But you'll need me_' he thought

"I want you there. Can't you apply for a job there or something?" he pouted.

"Beauxbatons is not hiring anyone, Sylvain. I'll still see you during the holidays and summer."

Sylvain gave a small sigh as his father dismissed him and continued scribbling.

??

Sylvain felt uneasy. His father needed constant company, not that Harry knew it. Sylvain knew that his father would slowly fade if he left for Beauxbatons.

Sylvain had been dreading and anticipating this day for quite a long time. Now, he only needed to find away to go to school and also get his father teaching at that particular school. Then being in the same school he could monitor his father's eating, sleeping and writing habits.

Contemplating his plans, he decided Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would be the best course of action. At least he could get them to hire his father as a Defense Professor, as the one they had was planning to retire. First, he would have to write a letter to Headmaster Dumbledore.

??

Albus Dumbledore was sitting in his office looking through a big pile of letters for a right teacher for the DADA post.

He was sorry he couldn't continue hiring Remus, as the werewolf was asked to be an ambassador to the werewolves by the Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, himself.

Lost in thought, the headmaster did not notice that a familiar-looking snowy owl flew into his office until it was perched on his paper weight. Scrutinizing the owl, he suddenly stood up. Harry!" He hastily retrieved the letter from Hedwig's leg, and promptly started reading it, leaving a reproachful-looking owl in his wake. After a minute or so he stood up, with a grim look on his faced, flooed his Potions Master and said,

"We have a lead on Harry. I found his owl!"

* * *

**A/N**

So this is the start of my new story. Anyway, R&R please. Tell me how bad it is or how good it is. LOL


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though…

Ah…imperfection. I've done my best. It's still too short though, I think. Oh, and its AU after OoTP. Sirius died... (sob sob)

**GryffindorGals:** Sorry I'm not good at making them long. I tried though.

**Alicia Spinet: **I know it is confusing. It will be cleared up as the story progresses.

**darkangelmiyuki:** All I can say is whatever he's been through changed him. But I agree it's a bit too flashy to be Harry.

**DeliaDee:** Thanks for the encouragement. Here's chapter 2. Hope you enjoy!

**31st July 2008:** Thanks again Audrey33. You make a really good beta.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Severus Snape sat quietly amongst a noisy bunch of people; people who still considered themselves as the Potter brat's friends.

'_Potter brat._' He heaved a great sigh that, luckily for him, went unheard in the commotion these people were causing in the meeting room.

"Where in the world is Albus?" he mumbled while pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to drown out the noise.

He was on the verge of choking the bunch of Weasleys who were still talking loudly, more like shouting, when all of a sudden the room quieted down. Albus stepped in calmly and proceeded to sit at the table. Once the headmaster sat down, questions started flying.

"Where is Harry?!" Molly Weasley cried loudly as her sons and husband tried to comfort her.

Lupin, Granger, Longbottom, Lovegood and the rest of the Weasleys were all standing up staring at the headmaster. When Albus failed to reply instantly, they started talking again, all at once causing quite a commotion until…

"Quiet!"

The bunch sat down. The man looked (around?). Satisfied that he will not be interrupted, he said, "I got a letter delivered by Hedwig."

"What's in the letter?" Granger stood up again, a pained look on her face.

"Please let me finish before you deem to interrupt again, Hermione," Albus said gravely. She sat down, fidgeted and said, "I'm sorry Headmaster."

Albus nodded and continued, "As I was saying, I got a letter. This letter does not in anyway mention or hint anything about Harry. In fact, it is a letter in which a boy who resides in France states his wish to study in Hogwarts. Also, this boy, Sylvain Valliere, wants to know if we can hire his father, Silvanus Valliere, to be the new DADA Professor."

The whole room of people seem to slump into their sits at the news. Only Granger seemed half excited about something. As always, there is no need to ask, she will make her excitement known soon enough.

"Silvanus Valliere? You mean THE Silas Valliere? The one who wrote brilliant books on almost all the branches of magic?" she said in awe.

The headmaster gave a nod and said, "Yes. I sent for a resume, he seems qualified so I have decided to hire him. Maybe we could find out something from him about Harry."

"Maybe he IS Harry." Ron Weasley said, voicing out the thoughts and hopes of many in the room.

"It is likely, but his age states otherwise, him being 37 years old. It might be a fraud; though we shall see when he arrives two days later."

??

"Father! Father!" Thundering sounds echoed through the hallways near the library. The door opened with a resounding bang, and Sylvain rush to the study table his father was occupying.

"Father!" he started, poking Harry across a pile of books and a few upright reading quills.

Harry gave a start and looked up at his son, blank eyes unseeing. "Yes Sylvain?"

"I want to go to Hogwarts instead of Beauxbatons. Can I?" He started flashing a pair of puppy eyes, complete with a sweet smile despite the fact that his father couldn't see it.

Harry, who was feeling the hopeful vibes from his son, gave a small smile. "Of course you can. But do you want me to move to Scotland? Perhaps into Hogsmeade?"

Sylvain's smile turned into a scrunched up worried look, he started fidgeting, and said, "I asked them, and well… The headmaster said he would consider hiring _you_ as a DefenseDADA Professor." His father was silent for a while too long, and Sylvian started casting quick, sideway glances trying to see and at the same time apprehensive about his father's reaction.

Finally Harry spoke, "You really want me to be one of your professors?"

"Yes." The young boy sighed inwardly at the lack of reaction. '_I should have guessed that he wouldn't be affected at all by the news. Damn.'_

A curious look flitted across Harry's face. "I will accept the position then. Do I need to attend an interview?" Pondering his son's reaction to his agreement, he started analyzing the situation.

"Yes, we are to arrive at Hogwarts tomorrow for paperwork. Mine and yours."

"We shall set out today. Then we will stay in Hogsmeade for the night. That way, you'll get to roam around." Harry said with a small smile trying to placate his son, who looked sad, to no avail.

"Aren't you supposed to be happy that I agreed?" Harry asked, genuinely curious about his son's unusual behavior.

Sylvain cringed at that question. He quickly cast around for an excuse and settled on, "Yes, it's just that well I'm gonna miss this place…"

He got an allegedly understanding smile in return for his effort.

??

Rubeus Hagrid arrived 5 minutes before 10 o'clock, as he was instructed, at the designated waiting place for Mr. Valliere and his son. Glancing around he tried to spot the father and son when suddenly a hoarse voice interrupted his searching.

He turned around, looked down and saw a delicate looking, slender man with a young kid that looked like a first year.

"You must be Rubeus Hagrid. I'm Silas Valliere, and this is my son Sylvain. Pleased to meet you," Harry said, holding out his hand.

Dumbstruck, Hagrid shook Silas' hand, wondering how someone could be so pale and still be alive.

"Yep that's me, Keeper of Keys and Grounds of Hogwarts. Call me Hagrid. Here, get inter the carriage. We'll be at Hogwarts in no time." The half-giant motioned to the horseless carriage waiting for them.

"Mister Hagrid," Sylvain started to say.

"Call me Hagrid, Sylvain. No need for all 't mister stuff." Hagrid said gruffly with a wave of his enormous hand.

"Ok, Hagrid. Ermmm…why is the carriage horseless? How is it moving?" the boy asked, looking wide-eye, perched on the edge of his seat.

"Ahhh… That yeh'll learn when you take Care of Magical Creatures in yeh third year. Bu' I could tell yeh something now. These carriages are driven by thestrals. They're winged horses tha' c'n fly. And yeh'll only see them if y've seen death before." The half-giant explained, his face as gleeful as the boy's.

"Oohhh… Can I touch them?" the boy was practically vibrating with excitement.

Hagrid gave an amused chuckle. "Sure yeh can."

"I can? Yes!" Sylvain leapt off his sit punching his fist in the air.

"Do not jump, Sylvain!" Harry interrupted, but Sylvain was already nursing his knuckles from where he hit the roof of the carriage when he pumped his fist into the air in joy.

Hagrid gave a warm chuckle at the boy's antics, shot a glance at Silas-noticing the lack of reaction on the man's face-and gave a shudder.

Soon they were pulling up at Hogwarts' entrance. Greeting them was the Deputy Headmaster of Hogwarts, Severus Snape.

"Mr. Valliere. I am the Deputy Headmaster, Severus Snape. I will escort you to the Headmaster's office," he said in a velvety tone while holding out his hand in greeting, giving a dissecting look at the future professor.

Unfazed, Harry looked up, startling Snape with his blank, unseeing eyes. "Pleased to meet you, Professor Snape. If you'll wait a moment, my son wants to pet the thestral." Harry returned the handshake, his other unoccupied hand motioning vaguely in the direction of Sylvain and Hagrid.

Soon enough, Sylvain came running and shouting "Father! That was brilliant! Thestrals are soooo cool!"

Giving his son a reprimanding look, Harry said, "No running Sylvain, you might trip. Sylvain, meet Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master, Head of Slytherin House, and Deputy Headmaster of Hogwarts."

Looking at the intimidating, thin and tall man in black billowing robes he stuttered "P-pleased to m-meet you, P-professor Snape." '_He's a vampire!_' he thought, panicking.

Snape gave a wickedly knowing smirk and curt nod before motioning for them to follow him.

??

A quite knock interrupted Dumbledore from his musings. "Come in, Severus." The door opened and Severus swept in and stepped aside, allowing the guests to enter. Closing the door with a soft click, he made eye contact with Albus, conjured a chair and sat down, promptly eyeing the pleasantries exchanged between both wizards.

Scrutinizing Valliere throughout the interview, he realized that this person was a very calm and reserved man. He did not show any extreme emotions, keeping them mild.

'_Too mild to be that emotional brat._' Severus thought.

In fact he looked like he was merely forcefully acting out the required and appropriate emotions, reactions and gestures.

'_Too perfect to be real..._'

Emotionless would be the right adjective. He seems like an actor, who merely acts out his part in life. '_Caring father, humph! I wonder how is it to live with someone like him, to have a father like Valliere,'_ Snape thought.

'_No one can be robotic to this extent._'

Besides that, the clothes he wore were highly suspicious. Left hand completely covered, not an inch of skin was visible but the right hand's sleeve was of normal length. He wore high-collared robes, with his hair obscuring most of his face.

He also looked too old to be 37 of age, and too thin and small to be healthy. Streaks of white could be seen highlighting his dark hair, there was a slight limp on the right leg and a haunted look in his dull grayish green eyes.

'_Mental note: Keep an eye on him constantly. He might be a dangerous person.'_

* * *

**A/N**

SO?! Again as an author, I always beg for reviews. R&R, people! Peace!


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

Yo... Here's chap 2. Enjoy...

**1st August 2008:** Again thank you **Audrey33**.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Five years ago**

The Whomping Willow was swaying listlessly on the quite grounds of Hogwarts. In the dark of the night, a tall figure with billowing black robes was seen running through Hogwarts grounds stealthily. He ran past a small hut and the lake, ignoring a greeting wave from the giant squid's tentacles.

Soon, the doors of the main entrance opened slightly and the figure slipped inside. The doors closed again silently and once inside, Severus Snape ran as quickly as possible, heading towards the headmaster's office.

He paused for a second in front of the stone gargoyle, before grimacing at the words that were about to come out of his mouth. He muttered "Pink cotton candy" softly, and waited for the stone gargoyle to move. Knowing that at this hour the headmaster will be awake waiting for him, he barged in the office without knocking and swiftly made his way to one of comfy chairs situated in front of the desk. He sat heavily, leaning back and started rubbing his eyes, trying to find a way to break the news.

"Bad news?"Albus said softly, scrutinizing the tired look on the face of his Potions Master.

Deciding on a blunt approach Severus said, "Yes, the Dark Lord has found an apprentice."

Hearing the bizarre news Albus sat up straighter, a slight look of concern flitting through his face. "Did you find out anything about this apprentice?"

Looking up, Severus saw a grim look on the older man's face. Hating himself for bringing in more bad news to burden the man he highly respected and loved, he spoke. "Yes and no."

Taking a deep breath, he then continued. "No one knows who he really is except for the Dark Lord. We refer to him as just Apprentice. I hardly saw his face but I could tell from his height, that he is a young man of maybe about 15 or 16.

"What I could gather from the brief glances, is that this boy has dark brown hair. He is talented in dueling with dark arts, as he 'performed' for his master on several Death Eaters. The Dark Lord seems quite happy to have found him, as he bragged that his apprentice has been with him since late August of last year."

The headmaster nodded sagely. "Did Voldemort reveal any plans that concern his apprentice?"

"Not directly, but he hinted that his apprentice will be put up against Potter. In my opinion, Potter will not stand a chance. He might be half good in Defense against the Dark Arts but against Voldemort and his apprentice, he will not survive." Severus said with a deriding look on his face.

Heaving a small almost unnoticeable sigh, Albus said, "Severus, you do not know the boy, do not judge him. He has been doing well in his training. You yourself said he is competent in Occulmency. Harry is not his father."

He looked intently at the younger man willing him to understand, but as always Severus would give a soft snort and ignore him. Sensing that he will never get through to the Potions Master, he decided to end the conversation. The headmaster was going to dismiss the younger man when suddenly an ice-cold voice interrupted. "You have not seen what the boy can do. Potter will not stand a chance."

Fathomless black eyes glared piercingly at the headmaster, and a moment later Severus rose from his seat and gave a small bow, waiting for dismissal.

Albus then gave a sigh and said, "Go get some sleep Severus, you still have to teach tomorrow. I need to schedule an order meeting tomorrow night. Can you send your report up after lunch?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

"Goodnight then, Severus."

Giving a nod to the headmaster, Snape headed for the stairs. Closing the door behind him, he saw for a brief moment, before the door clicked into place, the forbidding look on one of the most powerful wizards of the world.

??

**Present**

A week before the start of the school year, Severus Snape found himself in the midst of the marketplace, or rather, a place as noisy as the marketplace. This time, it was full of Hogwarts staff members, contemplating the identity of the newest Defense Professor, as this was the main topic for today's staff meeting.

As Albus and Valliere were not here yet, the staff started to mingle and gossip- occasionally he would catch a whisper about the new professor's connection to the Potter brat.

Pinching the bridge of his nose again, he wondered how long this man would last as a Defense professor. He didn't look like a good candidate if you took his build into account. Fragile would be the exact word that would describe him perfectly. But the aura he radiated was powerful and intimidating. Besides that, he seemed familiar sometimes, almost as if Snape knew him from somewhere. Although he couldn't exactly remember where.

A sudden silence brought the potions master back to reality; he looked up and was greeted with a nod from both Albus and Valliere. He notice Granger looking at Valliere, scrutinizing him; both locked eyes for a moment and then Granger turned away, blushing in embarrassment.

When everyone was in their respective seats, Albus spoke. "I'm glad to announce that Mr. Valliere will be joining us as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Polite smiles were seen flashing at Valliere, he returned them formally and said in his hoarse voice, "Pleased to meet all of you." He then sat down promptly, staring ahead with his unseeing eyes.

There was an awkward silence before Albus broke it by clearing his throat loudly and saying, "Very well, now let me introduce to you your coworkers. You already know Rubeus Hagrid and Severus Snape. The rest are: Lorcan Almerick teaching Transfigurations; Neville Longbottom teaching Herbology and also holding the Head of Gryffindor House position; Charis Flavius teaching Charms, who also is the Head of Hufflepuff House, Aurora Sinistra teaching Astronomy; Hermione Granger teaching Ancient Runes; Septima Vector teaching Arithmancy, and also holding the Head of Ravenclaw House position. We also have Sybill Trelawney teaching Divination; Justin Finch-Fletchey teaching Muggle Studies, and Xiomara Hooch, the Flying/Quidditch Instructor. The ones that are not here are Poppy Pomfrey the Mediwitch, Irma Pince the Librarian and Argus Filch the Caretaker." He gestured his hands at every one of them when he said their names.

Polite nods were exchanged and the meeting proceeded in a normal fashion, except for the occasional glances at the new professor.

??

Two hours later, Hermione found herself anxiously standing outside the meeting room door waiting for Silas. After a while, Silas walked out of the room and almost bumped into her.

"I'm sorry. I was waiting for you," she apologized.

He gave a nod and stare at her as if waiting for her to speak. When she did not he said, "You were waiting for me, so I assumed you have something to say to me. Do you?"

Startled by his hoarse voice, she nodded once wondering why she had wanted to talk to him. She cast around for a subject and decided to say, "Well, I was wondering if you are settling down? Have you moved here yet?"

Looking into his sightless eyes, she gave a small shudder and looked away as he spoke. "Yes, I have. Albus was kind enough to provide a large enough room for my extensive library."

Smiling nervously she said, "A library! Could I have a look at it? I do so love books." Her voice revealed her growing enthusiasm.

Intrigued by Hermione's excitement, Silas gave a small nod. "Yes, of course you can. Are you by any chance free now? We could head to my quarters this very moment. My son is waiting for me."

"Yes, I'm free but I wouldn't want to intrude, so maybe next time?"

"If you wish it so. I'll see you during dinner then, Hermione."

She stared at the man walking away, wondering why he gave off such a familiar feeling.

"Do you feel like you should know him?" A silky voice interrupted her thoughts.

Hermione jumped at the voice and hissed, "Severus, don't do that! And to answer your question, yes I do. Do you think he is Harry?"

Smirking at his success in shocking the witch, he replied, "Yes, he might be, but we do not know for sure yet. He is blind, and I'm sure Potter was not blind when the Ministry locked him in Azkaban."

"Yes he wasn't…" she trailed off before continuing, "Did you see the scars around his eyes?"

"Yes. They were obscured by his hair, but I did notice them." He looked at Hermione, who was now staring at the place where Valliere walked off to, waiting for her to speak.

"It looks like he scratched his own eyes out. Do you- do you think Harry would have done that in Azkaban?" she asked in a hoarse voice, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"I don't know, Hermione. I truly don't know." Severus patted her shoulder awkwardly, offering comfort.

* * *

**A/N**

So? What do you think? Is it ok? R&R please! :


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

Sorry I was busy... Uni stuff and all... And I kinda got stuck for a while. Here's chapter 3...

Oh I forgot... All the Hogwarts staff are calling each other by their first name. Ok, that's all... Oh yeah! Thanks for the reviews!! I love them. It's like getting rewarded for writing. Oh, and if you can gimme constructive criticism... Thanks!!

**2nd August 2008:** Thanks **Audrey33**!!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

It was the last day of the summer holidays. The school year would start the next day and Hogwarts would no longer be as quiet as it is now. Taking advantage of the silence and peace Hogwarts is now in, the staff are having their traditional long dinner where they eat and enjoy the last of summer before they have to go back to teaching those unruly kids and endure the noise once more.

Most of the staff were there besides Filch and Madame Pince, both of whom would not be back until later that night, and the staff were having the usual debate on the merits of having joined classes for certain subjects when suddenly the doors to the great hall opened and a boy with unruly black hair popped his head in and half shouted, "Father?"

Everyone turned in one fluid motion and stared at the source of the interruption. Blushing furiously at the attention, Sylvain looked around. When he did not spot his father's petite form, he asked again, "Ermmm, did anyone see him around?"

"I told him of this dinner. He did say he'll be here, but we haven't seen him yet. He is not in his rooms?" Neville said.

"Nope… I think he's in the library doing research or maybe in the forest looking for stuff for his research. Anyway I'll go look again." The dark haired boy made a move to slip out but was stopped by a voice.

"I'll go with you. If he is not in the library, I don't think we would want you to go in the forest alone." A tall man with red hair moved quickly to catch up with Sylvain.

"Hi I'm Ron Weasley, Professor Granger's fiancé. You must be Silas Valliere's son." Ron gave a small smile at the boy's features. Up close he looked a bit like Harry when he first came to Hogwarts, minus the green eyes and glasses, but mostly it was because of the boy's hair.

"Yeah, I am. Uummm...can we hurry, I'm really hungry…" he added silently, '_And worried._' He said while tugging at Ron's robes.

Both of them headed of to the library in a fast pace, in silence as Sylvain was worrying and Ron was feeling awkward with the boy and anxious to see Silas.

'_Harry…_' he thought.

They arrived at the library after a while and found a mess. Papers were strewn everywhere, opened books lay scattered on a few tables combined together, but Silas was nowhere to be seen. Ron looked down at the boy, who was mumbling under his breath after hitting his forehead with his palm.

Sylvain strode over to the table, took a look at the mess, spotted a piece of parchment which looked like the meaning of his father's disappearance, hit his head again, put down the parchment and walked out of the library, still mumbling under his breath, with a confused redhead on his tail.

They were almost at the edge of the Forbidden forest when they spotted a figure near the trees. After a moment, a very calm but dazed albeit messy looking Silas strolled out of the forest, holding a few vials of liquid.

"Father!! Are you hurt? Did you encounter any dangerous creatures? How could you just saunter in the forest to gather ingredients without telling me?!" Sylvain shrieked, while looking over his father looking for visible injuries.

Silas, who stopped walking due to the interference, just blinked a few times at his son before saying, "Sorry, I need to put these in stasis," and continued on his way back in the castle.

Ron, who was looking at the scene unfold, gave a bemused smile at the pair before following a mumbling kid who finally decided to explain. "I'm sorry. He's in his research mode, and until he puts those vials in stasis I cannot reach him. We better hurry after him. I need to stop him looking in another book and get him to eat dinner."

Upon arriving at the library the younger boy practically forced the older wizard to 'pack up' and eat. He had to throw several tantrums before he was noticed, and Silas reluctantly sent the mess of books, parchments and quills to his rooms. Then his hand was promptly seized by Sylvain and he was dragged out of the library all the way to the Great Hall.

A few minutes later, Ron, Sylvain and Silas, whose hand was still in a tight grip courtesy of his son, walked in the Great Hall and proceeded to eat their dinner.

??

**Backtrack a little**

Neville and Hermione shared a look and a sigh after Ron followed Sylvain out. During the week they had rarely seen Silas-even if they did, he was always in a daze walking around holding something or disappearing (not in the castle) sometimes when they were looking for him. Apparently, according to Sylvain, Silas has always been like that.

The reason he was able to write so many books was because he did research practically 24/7. So far, Hermione haven't been able to visit his library which, she was sure by now, should be very impressive, and Neville had to stalk him a whole hour to get Silas to even answer him about the Dinner. If Severus was bad at socializing, Silas was hell at it.

Looking around, Hermione saw that most of the staff had already gone back to the debate except for Severus, who was frowning and staring at the door.

"Severus?" she asked quietly, trying not to attract too much attention. When the Potions Master did not reply, she tried again. This time she got an answering grunt. "Did you try approaching him?"

"Yes. I have figured out that if I want to have a conversation with him, I'll have to talk about Potions and Dark Arts as I am best in those fields of studies. If I suddenly change the subject to other inane things, he will start giving one word answers." Severus explained while keeping watch on the door.

"Oh… You mean I'll get his attention if I start spouting stuff about my research in Ancient Runes?" She looked taken aback. "I should have tried that."

"Yes. You should have. But this is not good. No matter how hard I try to prod, I have not been able to find out anything about him or Potter." The scowl on his face deepened, if that was possible.

"Oh Severus, stop calling Harry by his surname, Potter. I know you were close once, even if it was in Voldemorts' service. You don't have to hide your feelings for him. I know you cared for him like he was your son," Albus suddenly said. He got a fierce glare in return.

"You know nothing, Albus. I do not have affections toward that brat." And he went back to glowering at the door with a deep scowl on his face.

Hermione started to say something, but was cut off as the door suddenly opened and a furious looking Sylvain dragged a blank faced Silas towards the table, followed by a bemused looking Ron.

Neville and Hermione said in unison, "What happened? Where did he go?"

Ron gave a look towards the Vallieres, and said, "I'll tell you later."

The dinner went on well enough, though the Vallieres excused themselves earlier than most. Nobody except for Severus, Albus, and Hermione noticed that Silas ate only a small portion of his food, and vanished the rest wandlessly when his son was not looking.

??

Ron, Hermione, Neville and Severus were all huddled up by the fire in Hermione's quarters-well, Snapes do not huddle and he was only there because he was curious about Silas-when Ron started his tale. When he finished, Severus asked straight away, "Do you know what was in those vials?"

"Ermm, no I don't. This behavior is not unusual?" He was actually expecting some other reaction from everyone.

"No, it's not. He's dazed like that all the time, except I didn't know he actually goes into the forest by himself, blind and all to gather things." Neville answered.

"And causing a mess in the library." Hermione continued.

"He won't be able to do that once Madam Pince comes back. She'll strangle him before he even starts the mess." Ron commented.

"Yes, I'm sure she will, Ron. Care to repeat the part where he 'packed' away all his things? I'm sure it would take longer, if the mess was as big as you described it." Severus said with a small sneer, as if implying that Ron had probably exaggerated.

Rolling his eyes at the potions master's antics, Ron said, "Well, he did vanish everything with a swish of his hand, which was very suspicious. Not many wizards can do that." He paused for a while and added in a low pained voice, "And Harry was one of them."

"Well we're another step closer to proving Silas is Harry." Hermione said soothingly.

"You really believe that?" Neville asked slowly, as if asking slowly would not cause an outburst. His theory was wrong.

"OF COURSE!" Hermione stood up and proclaimed vehemently. Then she took a look around her and sat down.

"I'm sorry. But I really think he is. I mean, I have been trying to inspect his behaviors. Sometimes I see these really familiar behaviors like flattening his hair and biting the end of his quill that have Harry printed all over them," she said in a dejected voice.

"If you think so, and I'm sure Severus and Albus think so, too, why didn't you all confront him?" Ron asked.

"We can't. We do not know what happened in the three years he disappeared. I mean, he was in Azkaban for almost a year before the Ministry decided he's innocent. Besides that, we all attacked him in the battle. Do you think he would be sane after all this? You know how Harry gets when he's near a dementor. How could he have stayed sane after a year in Azkaban? Even if he is sane, he must only have a very small grasp on his sanity. If we confront him outright…" Hermione trailed off. "I don't want to know what would happen. We need to approach him slowly."

Severus nodded. "Hermione's right. We should at least find out if he is still the Potter we knew."

'O_r thought we knew,_' Severus thought.

* * *

**A/N **

So that's all. I will try to update soon... no promises though... Thanks for reading! Reviews please!!


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters do not belong to me. The plot does though...

Ok. Here's chapter 4. Enjoy!! And thanks for the reviews!! I love them. Ok, here's the deal. I find sorting boring, not to mention tedious. Besides, I suck at creating names. So I decided to skip it rather than writing a lousy one. For those looking forward to the sorting, sorry.

Thanks to **LiliaGryffindor'sHeir376** for mentioning the typo. I missed it... I don't know how but I missed it.

P.S. bold To those who story alerted this story I don't know why FF did not send any email to me. I deleted and reposted a few times, but no email. So I could only hope FF did send the alerts to y'all... Oh and I this changed a bit... Sorry, there was an logical error.

**1st August 2008:** Thankies **Audrey33**!!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**The day after 1st September and the Sorting**

Breakfast at the Great Hall with so many students was unnerving. Sylvain was used to solitude and silence. He was grumpy and off mood because of this. Adding the whisperings about his father's inability and incompetence going through the hall made him ready to explode.

"_My god...Look at him. He's so scrawny. Must be a lousy teacher..._"

"_Look at him. A good hex will finish him off._"

"_Looks like he's going to keel over and die any second._"

Gritting his teeth, he ignored the concerned look from his new friend, Ryan Horton, and continued stuffing breakfast in his mouth. Throwing a glance at the High Table, he saw Professor Snape talking softly with his father, who was looking calm and indifferent.

Scowling at his father's ability to stay calm in the midst of such slandering, he continued stuffing food into his mouth and glaring at no one in particular.

"Ermmm, Sylvain...We've got to go soon, I don't want to be late for Transfiguration. Can you stop glaring at those ignorant people?" Ryan said, softly tugging at Sylvain's sleeve.

Looking up from his plate, Sylvain said incredulously, "Whatever for? I just started eating fifteen minutes ago. We've still got at least forty minutes before class starts."

"Well, we're not really familiar with the castle yet. So I thought maybe we should leave early in case we get lost or something."

"Oh then, you don't have to worry because I know the way to all of our classes. We won't get lost. Here, have more toast." Sylvain promptly loaded Ryan's plate with a few more pieces of toast and went back to his fuming.

Heaving a sigh at his friend's anger, Ryan started buttering his toast when a bunch of seventh year Slytherins from up the table walked pass them, talking about plans to prank the new DADA professor.

Wincing, Ryan looked at Sylvain, who stood up so fast; he knocked over a goblet of pumpkin juice. He glared fiercely, opened his mouth, and started to do a rude gesture when suddenly another pair of hands clamped over Sylvain's hand and mouth.

He then heard a hoarse voice whisper, "Do not pick fights, Sylvain."

Ryan looked in shock at Professor Valliere who was standing right behind Sylvain. Sylvain turned around and gave his father a half-hearted glare before looking away. The older wizard then took out his wand and gave a wave at the table, righting the goblet and cleaning the mess. Then he looked at his son as if expecting something. Sylvain sighed before saying.

"Yes father." The boy then sat down and glared daggers at his own plate. The DADA professor then stalked away from the Slytherin table and out the doors of the Great Hall.

It was then when Ryan realized that half the hall was standing up, looking towards the Slytherin table in awe. The whisperings had come back full force.

"_Did you see him move? He was, like, sooo fast._"

"_It _m_ust be an illusion. There's no way he could do that!_"

Sylvain snorted rudely, gave the food in his plate a last poke and said, "Come on Ryan. Let's get to class."

Ryan nodded dazedly, and then they both gathered their bags and left the hall.

??

**The next day**

The next day was as noisy as the day before. But Sylvain was looking decidedly smug. He was happily scooping cereals into his smirking lips. He was humming and tapping his feet to the beat. In other words, he was damn happy and Ryan kept shooting glances at him, smiling at his behavior.

"_Are you sure he's good?_"

"_Yeah! Like some dueling expert. I actually like Defense more now. And he's blind! Ain't that cool?_"

"_Oh I can't wait for my class… Oh man!! It's in two more days._"

Conversations alike were being held all over the great hall, and this made Sylvain a very happy person.

??

The rest of the week went on in a similar fashion-by weekend, students were quite happy with Defense classes. Not that Professor Lupin was a bad teacher, it was because Silas Valliere seemed to know Defense better, and also thwarted and caught every single student's plan to prank him.

On Saturday morning, at breakfast, Hermione finally succeeded in getting Silas to invite her to his library. She happily brought along Severus and Ron, who came for visits as usual on weekends. At 11 A.M. she arrived at the door- which was a plain looking wall with a small symbol at the top- to Silas' quarters, with the two men behind her. She knocked on the door twice and waited. When no one opened the door after a minute or two, she knocked again. There was no answer yet again, so she spun around to leave and saw Silas' son Sylvain hurrying towards them.

"Sylvain, your father…" she started to say, but stopped when Sylvain shook his head and waved at her to stop while catching his breath.

After a while the younger wizard spoke. "I'm sorry, professors. I was supposed to get here earlier to open the door but I was delayed by my friends. Ryan is on the way here but I think I better let you in first."

Sylvain whispered the password faintly and the wall moved aside. All of them went in and found a quaint looking living hall, which hardly looked used. Everything looked perfectly clean, not a thing out of place.

"Ermmm, you're going to visit the library right?" The boy asked his professors while looking out the door for Ryan.

"Yes. Can you point us in the right direction? You could wait outside for Ryan then," Hermione said.

"Oh…Ok then. It's at the double door down that hallway. I'll be there soon. He might ignore you, so don't be alarmed or offended," he said, gesturing towards the hallway and closing the wall behind him.

The trio looked a little stunned at his statement; Ron gave a shrug and pulled Hermione down the hallway. He pushed open the door and found a massive, magically expanded of course, room full of shelves and of course books.

Hermione gave a gasp of surprise, eyes glinting, and hurried off towards the nearest shelf. Severus showed no outward sign of surprise, but he could barely restrain himself from doing what the younger witch was doing. In the end he gave in, and stalked off in a dignified manner, unlike Hermione, to the shelves. Ron rolled his eyes at his fiancee (and Severus), and went looking for Silas.

At the center of the library, he presumed, was a desk. Littered around the desk were books of all kinds with upright quills on them. Silas seemed to be writing intently while listening to the reading quill.

"Ah, I found him. Hey Silas! I just want to tell you that you currently have two book maniacs walking around your library. I'm going to pull them over when I find them. Ok?"

Silence.

"Ermmm, Silas?" Ron said again when there was no response from Silas. Ron walked nearer, stopped short of his destination and gave a soft horrified gasp. He spun around and rushed off to look for Hermione.

"Mione!" he whispered harshly.

"Ron? Oh Ron, he has got the most fantastic books. Come here and have a- Ron? What happened?" She asked worriedly when she saw the bewildered look on her fiancé's face.

"He's not wearing his weird looking robes," he whispered.

"So? What's wrong? He's at home, so it's normal-he'll have on more casual clothes than those weird garments he wears." She looked annoyed at him for making a big deal out of nothing

"Did it ever struck you that he's wearing them to hide things?" Ron said ( Ron said, exasperated,)in retaliation.

Her face took on a thoughtful look. "Like?"

"Scars, Mione. Scars. He's got tons of them. No one can live after having injuries that caused those scars!" Ron said softly while tugging at her hand, leading her back to Silas.

"He could have acquired them at a different times, Ron," she said skeptically.

"Ok. Maybe I was a bit hysterical. But his left arm looks painful. Oh, here we are."

They arrived back at Silas' desk, where they found three more people. Severus was examining Silas' arm from a distance away, with Sylvain and Ryan. It looked red and burnt all the way up to his shoulder. Sylvain was currently talking loudly in his father's ears and tugging his right arm, effectively stopping Silas from writing.

"Come on, father. You invited them. You give the tour. I already brought them in, so now you have to stop writing and give them a tour, entertain them, or whatever. I'm going out with Ryan to the lake, so I'm not going to be here."

Silas looked up dazedly, gave a small nod and stood up. "If you are in trouble-"

"I'll call for help with this. Don't go back to writing, ok? I'm going now." Sylvain gave his hand a shake revealing a bracelet, waved, looked at his father worriedly and pulled his friend away with him.

"Oh, professors, unless you want to do some research with him I highly recommend you not to let him near that desk, ok? See ya…" And he was gone.

"Good morning, Hermione, Severus, and Ron. Do you want me to take you around?" Silas asked distractedly. Without waiting for an answer he started walking through the shelves.

"Ye- yes, yes. Oh can I borrow some books?" Hermione asked nervously glancing at his arm.

"Is my arm bothering you? I could wear my gloves."

"Oh no… It's not that. I was just wondering what happened to your arm," she laughed nervously

"Someone used a strong _Incendio_ on it," he said dismissively and strolled off into a row of books and continued, "Here are the Potions books. I hope you enjoy them, Severus."

He made a move to walk on but Ron suddenly said, "We could stop here a while; I think Mione would like to take a look at these books too. Right?"

"Yes, I would like that."

"Of course." Silas then moved to the end of the aisle and leaned on the wall.

They started browsing the books, trying to find something to say when Severus gave a soft gasp and stared at an old, tattered book on the top shelve.

"May I read that?" Realizing he was talking to a blind person, Severus restated his question.

"May I read the Potions book by Slytherin?"

"Yes." The book suddenly disappeared and appeared in Severus' right hand.

"Thank you."

After a while, both Severus and Silas started conversing softly about the contents of that tattered looking book, sitting at the end of the aisle on the floor. Ron and Hermione looked amazed at their behavior.

"Bloody hell. I can't believe it! They actually look excited or something."

"Ron!" she chastised.

"But Mione, have you ever seen Severus excited? It's a miracle. And look at Silas' face. I've never seen such a sincere expression etched on it." Ron said in an astonished voice.

She looked at them and sighed. "You're right. They do look kind of happy in a way. I guess my decision to drag Severus here was a right one."

At that moment, Silas looked up and Hermione gave him a brilliant smile. He gave her a confused look and continued the discussion with Severus. It was then she wondered, how could he have seen her smile if he was blind.?

* * *

A/N bold

So did you all get what house Sylvain is in? Read and review guys... If you didn't get it, I'll include it in next chapter's author notes.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters do not belong to me. The plot does, though...

This is kinda late, and I apologize. I'm rather busy and I haven't time to write. Anyway, this will be the last chapter for a while, at least until I find a beta. I'm having complains about this story in HP fandom. I've decided to find one first before I continue posting. I know all of you who have reviewed like them as they are, but I feel maybe I can improve. I'll apologize again if it helps, but as a reader I know it doesn't. Thanks for reading.

Thanks for the reviews!! Here's Chapter 5. Enjoy!!

**20th November 2008:** Thanks **Audrey33**!! Sorry i've been lazy... Lol...

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Less than five years ago

Albus Dumbledore was sitting in his office waiting for his spy to come back safely. It was now past the usual time when Severus would arrive, but there was nothing he could do except wait. Albus hated the helplessness he felt dealing with such situations. Howeve,r tonight's meeting had been crucial, according to Severus who heard rumors of an attack on several families who stood against Voldemort in the past week. The bad thing was that he was not let in on much information. Worse still, the bits and pieces of information he gathered talking to other Death Eaters contradicted each other.

Albus had stressed that this was a ploy to flush out a spy and it was not safe for Severus to act any further other than following Voldemort's orders. Severus, however, insisted that he could not abandon his mission just to save his own arse.

The headmaster glanced at the clock, which showed 3.30 AM., and stood up to start pacing when suddenly his office door burst open.

"Severus!" he said in a relieved and reprimanding tone (for scaring him).

"I apologize, Headmaste, but we have to get the Order ready as fast as possible."

Giving a grave nod, Albus went to the fireplace and contacted Alastor Moody to get the order ready and that he would have more information for the Auror later.

After gulping down the goblet of cold water on the headmaster's desk, Severus spoke. "I'm not sure if we can trust the Apprentice but he did, in a sly way, inform me that this is indeed a ploy to flush out spies. Voldemort was sure that there are actually a few-some from the Ministry, and some from the Order."

Alarmed by the news, Albus said commandingly, "Then we cannot act so foolishly. Once this is over you cannot go back to Voldemort."

Half shocked by the headmaster's outburst, Severus said loudly, "Albus! I'm not finished. The Dark Lord suspected everyone except for the Apprentice, Pettigrew and the Lestranges. As you can see I'm in the list as well. What he did was feed different information to every death eater. Minor details, but if we or the Ministry acted on it, he would know. However, I've realized that by stopping this coming attack on the MacMillans we will not only frame Avery, but I could still go back as spy."

Giving a resigned sigh, Albus said, "You are sure of this?"

Severus looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "Not really. But we have to move soon if we wish to protect the MacMillans, and I cannot be seen there."

Albus nodded grimly, stood up and started to leave. At the door however he turned around and said, "Severus, we will talk after I come back. In the meantime get some rest."

??

Next Morning

Severus Snape was pacing in front of his fireplace waiting for news. He barely slept and was up quite early, worrying about the plan.

'_What if he is trying to trick me?_'

He gave a huge uncharacteristic sigh and paused for a while to stare into the fireplace willing to light up to, willing someone to pop in or simply just fire call him.

Nothing happened. No spark nothing.

He growled softly and resumed his pacing.

Suddenly there was a soft whoosh, and in all elegance, Albus Dumbledore emerged from the fireplace.

Seeing the anxiety etched on Severus' face, Albus immediately reassured him. "Everything's fine. Now we need to decide whether you will go back or not."

Shooting the headmaster an irritated glare, Severus said, "Of course I will go back! We need all the information I can get."

"Severus, my boy, you are needed alive. We do not need a dead spy."

Glaring stubbornly at the fireplace, Severus finally said, "At least let me try convincing him."

"Do you mean Voldemort's apprentice? Are you sure he can be convinced?" Albus raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"I need to try. He's save my life a few times. With that, he saved the lives of those who would have died without the information I gave you, some of which came from him." Severus insisted in a hoarse voice.

"You did not inform me of this. How long has this been happening, Severus?" Albus asked in a worried voice.

There was an awkward pause when Severus hesitated to tell the Albus whole truth. Making his decision to tell the headmaster everything, he said "Since the Dark Lord instructed me to work with him on the poison that will be used on either you or Potter, though I'm not sure who."

The headmaster said in a grave voice, "And you hid this from me why?"

The potions master got defensive and sneered. "Because you would never understand. You would never understand what it's like to be in his service and not wanting it. If the boy is like me, I vow that I will help him."

Avoid the issue altogether, Albus asked, "You are sure he is unwilling?"

"I would say he's misguided rather than unwilling." Severus said indignantly.

Not completely understanding Severus' point he asked again, "What do you mean?"

The potions master gave a sigh and said, "I mean, like today. There were a few times during potion research with him when he let slip something important. He must be doing that because he feels some guilt. There maybe something to work on. I do not want him to end up like me," His voice cracked in the end. He sat hunched on the couch, his face hidden in his hands.

"And you sure about this?" the head master said gently.

"Yes."

"Then do what you will. Be careful and stay safe."

??

Present (Or rather almost 2 months later, on Halloween)

The great hall was noisy as usual, and as usual Hermione Granger was studying her fellow colleague, Silas Valliere. She had been doing this since that day he looked away when she smiled at him. At first she thought he simply pretended to be blind, but the longer she observed him the more confusing he was. He would at times seemed really blind, and sometimes not. Two months and she haven't figured it out yet. Even with Severus' help they were unable to determine his real condition. She looked at him walking out of the great hall with ease and gave a sigh of disappointment. Little did she know, she would find out more about Silas soon enough.

­The first years of the Gryffindor and Slytherin classes arrived early after breakfast to the defense classroom, anxious to start their two period Defense class with Professor Valliere. Their discussion was cut short when the bell rang for their one period class last week. They were told to get some thinking done and resume the discussion on Monday. All of them were already seated and waiting for the professor to arrive. A few minutes passed, and finally the door opened to admit a rather tired looking but decidedly happy professor.

The class proceeded smoothly until a few minutes before it ended, where a student from Slytherin who was paired with a Gryffindor pounced on said Gryffindor and started pounding him. Silas separated them quickly with a wave of his wand, took away 20 points respectively and gave them both detention for fighting.

He was about to dismiss the class when suddenly the students screamed. Taken aback by their sudden screams, he whipped out his wand and performed several shields surrounding the student.

"FATHER!! STOP USING MAGIC!!" his son bellowed at him. It was then when he felt something trickling down from his nostrils. Raising his hand to his upper lip, he felt thick blood.

Worried, Sylvain attempted to walk forward but he bumped into the shield his father created. Giving a frustrated sigh, he said, "Father, maybe you should remove these shields."

Silas gave a short nod, waved his wand once again and promptly collapsed. More screams were heard and a few students who kept their cool ran off to find the other professors. They came back with Professor Vector, who took in the scene with wide eyes.

"Class is dismissed. I will take Professor Valliere up to the Infirmary. Mr. Valliere, come with me." She levitated Silas and left the classroom.

??

Naturally, the news of Silas collapsing that morning spread through the school like wildfire. Thus, we now see a very anxious Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom and a reluctant looking Severus Snape in the infirmary, at lunch, staring at the bed behind the curtains as if they could look through it. None of them noticed Albus walking in and placing himself behind them.

The curtains open a little and a very disgruntled looking medi-witch came through it followed by a rather angry looking Sylvain.

"You have no right!!" Sylvain hissed at the medi-witch vehemently.

"I have every right!" she retorted, in a softer voice though.

"You can't go examining him like that! He doesn't like it. If he was not unconscious you would not even be able to come near him!" the boy ranted, his voice rising with every word.

In a tight voice, she said, "The point is that he IS unconscious and I need to know what's wrong to help him."

"He will not like this. YOU KNOW NOTHING!" The infirmary rattled dangerously with his magic.

Attempting to placate him, she said soothingly "I know I don't. If you would explain-"

The boy's face took on a pale hue. "I have class now. Get me when he wakes up." He paused for a while, hesitating his next words and finally saying, "I'm sorry. For yelling. He's the only person I have, and I'm the only one he has. I'm sorry."

The young boy then stalked of without a word, leaving five dumbfounded adults in his wake.

Poppy, being the first to snap out of it, gave a frustrated huff and stormed off to open the curtains around Silas' bed.

"Poppy, how is he?" Albus ask in a soft voice.

"Don't you mean 'who is he'?" she said with a sneer. "I'm sorry," she apologized immediately after her outburst, continuing, "He is Harry. His medical histories are the same."

Silence reigned as they tried to take in the information.

"How is he? Why did he collapse?"

Smilling at the potions master's denial, she said, "He's fine. At least, according to his son he is. He's just physically and magically fatigued"

"What do you mean according to his son?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

The medi-witch sighed and shot a glance at the prone body on the bed. He looked so fragile and pale against the white sheets. "I've found rather disturbing remnants of old injuries that went untreated. His body is shutting down slowly, due to the considerable amount of damage he received, mostly from using and having dark magic used on him."

"How long?" Albus said staring at Harry.

"Less than 10 years if untreated. I suspect the only thing keeping him alive are his magic and the fact that his son has not reach adulthood yet. Once Sylvain reaches 17, Harry's condition will most likely deteriorate in a faster pace. Besides that, he has not been sleeping or eating properly, if I'm not mistaken, for the past 4 years," she said gravely.

"You mean we can save him?" Neville said hopefully.

She nodded and said "Yes, with the help from all of you, we can at least stop the dark magic from eating him away."

Giving one last look at Harry, Severus said "Then let's get to work."

* * *

**A/N**

Well R&R okay... Thanks!


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

Sorry I've been kinda busy. Birthdays, assignments and test...

Okay I've not been successful in finding a beta so... I've decided to post without it this time. I know I suck at the punctuation and dialogs part, but please bear with me. A little warning though, I'll maybe change this chapter a little after its beta-ed. But don't worry, I'll probably only add more descriptions. I won't change it too drastically. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for the reviews!!

**1st August 2008:** Thanks **Audrey33** for beta-ing.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

It was just after lunch. Albus, Hermione, Severus and Neville had just left a while ago after an intense discussion. As always, the infirmary was quite, especially when there are no patients or, in this case, when they are asleep.

Poppy Pomfrey was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace in her office, enjoying a cup of tea and reading a journal of sorts, or rather a compilation of ideas and theories on dealing with Harry's illness.

Reaching for her tea, she was about to take a sip when a hoarse scream was heard, followed by loud clanging sounds and dull thuds. She dropped her teacup in surprise, stood up abruptly and rushed out of her office into the only room with a patient.

Upon arriving at the room, she was almost knocked over when Harry came barging out. After righting herself, she took a quick look at the room he left behind. The white covers were on the floor and blood spots could be seen on them. The side table and everything on top were now scattered on the floor as well. Alarmed by what she saw, she called out, "Harry!" and started chasing him.

However, the wizard stopped in mid step and spun around, eyes wide in obvious shock. Shaking his head like he was trying to get something off his hair, he took a step back, turned around and bolted like a wild animal.

Stunned at the sight of blood trailing down his face and neck, from what seem like scratches, if his bloodied fingers were taken into account, Poppy did nothing to stop him from leaving. She stood there staring at the spot where he had been standing, the image of his bloodied face still swimming before her eyes.

A few minutes later, she went back to his room, cleaned the mess, took the covers, went back to her office and waited for the classes to end.

??

Outside the doors of the quarters of the DADA professor stood a shivering first year. Sylvain had been standing there for the past ten minutes wondering if was fine for him to go in. Taking a deep breath he whispered the password. The wall slid aside and he entered the dark room.

"Father? Are you here?" he said softly. He peeked around the living hall and found no one. He set a quick course for the library, convinced that his father would be there doing his usual intense research and it would just take a few shouts to get his attention. Opening the double doors, he jogged through the shelves to his father's working desk.

The study area was dark, not lighted as usual, and his father was not there like usual. He lit up his wand anyway and found no one. Worried, he ran out of the library and barged into his father's room, banging the door loudly in the process, and still didn't find him. He was about to panic when he remembered something.

"The locked room! He could be there." he said out loud to no one in particular.

Running out of his father's room he quickly made his way towards the library again. Only this time, he did not stop at the study area. Instead he ran past it toward the back of the library. Slowing down as he reached his destination, he saw silvery light filtering out from underneath the doors. Grasping the door knob, he hesitated for a moment before slowly turning the knob and pushing the door open.

When it opened he realize that the silvery light came from the hundreds of vials on the shelves on the wall. Sylvain, who had never been in here before as the door was always heavily locked, looked with wide eyes at the scene before him, at the same time wondering what the silvery thick substance in those vials was. Tearing his eyes away from the shelves he looked around and saw his father sitting stoically on a trunk in the corner, looking into space, still wearing hospital garbs.

"Father! Are you okay?" the young boy said as he ran over and started checking his father for visible injuries. Satisfied with his condition, ignoring the scratches around the eyes and neck, Sylvain said softly, "Come on, let's get out of here, okay. You're done here, right?"

When he got no response, Sylvain tried again, "Father? Come on… let's go," at the same time tugging on his father's robes. Finally, Harry turned around to face his son. After a while he gave a curt nod and started standing up.

They both left the room unlocked and headed for the living hall. Once his father was seated, Sylvain stood there hesitating his next move. Deciding quickly, he went to get some tea for his father and pumpkin juice for himself. He hurried back to the living hall and sighed in relief to find that his father was still there.

"Father? Do you want to talk about it?" he asked tentatively,

Harry gave a small grunt, looked away and said, "Nightmares."

Looking apologetic, Sylvain said, "I'm sorry. Madame Pomfrey gave you a sleeping potion before I could stop her."

Harry gave his son a small reassuring smile and said, "It's not your fault. I'm fine now, disoriented, but fine."

Sylvain smiled and lean forward to hug his father tightly. "Is she alright?" he mumbled into his father's robes.

"Yes, she's still hiding in my hair." Harry raised his hand and petted the top of his head. Soft hissing sound could be heard issuing from that vicinity.

"How did they not find her?" Sylvain asked curiously.

More hissing sounds could be heard; only this time Harry was making them. "She removed herself and hid under the bed just in time apparently."

Sylvain nodded into his father's robe and continued to sit in the warm embrace. After a while he said, "Well, then can we go to the great hall for dinner soon? I think it almost time."

Simultaneously, both of them look up to the clock above the fireplace and a rumbling stomach sounded. Harry looked at his son and gave a small chuckle.

"Come on then, we should head for dinner now. Just let me get changed first, okay?"

"Sure."

??

"What do you mean he left?! Based on the sleeping draught you gave him he was supposed to be asleep until dinner at least!" Hermione remarked in surprise.

"I do not know how, but he woke up shortly after you all left. You should all see this," Poppy said, holding up a vial of silvery liquid.

"I'll get a house elf to fetch the pensieve." Severus said grumpily and swept off.

"Don't mind him. He's upset his potions are not working properly," Albus said with a soft chuckle and a twinkle in his eyes.

They all shared a quiet laugh at the potion master's expense. However, they all abruptly stoped when they heard the door open, no one wanted him to be grumpy the whole day, as he was very sensitive when it come to potions. Especially the potions he made.

"Here," Severus said shortly and handed out the pensieve. Taking the pensieve, Poppy poured the contents of the vial into the it and they all dived into the memory. A few minutes later they all sat back with thoughtful looks on their faces. Silence descended on them for a few minutes until Hermione said, "I was right. He did blind himself." She paused before saying, "The thing is, sometimes I wonder if he is really blind."

She looked up from her lap and saw their questioning gaze. "If you observe him closely you would notice. The best example was the day I, with Severus and Ron, visited his library. He saw me smiling at him when he and Severus were happily discussing -"

"I was not happily discussing!" the potions master said indignantly and glared at Hermione.

"over the potions book. He looked away confusingly when he saw me," she finished as if Severus had not interrupted.

"But that is not possible. I check his eyes over. They are genuinely blind. Unless he had a familiar with him, he could not have seen anything with those eyes, as damaged as they are. Besides, if he had a familiar we would have seen it right?" Poppy said dismissively.

"He could have fooled you with illusion magic." Neville added.

"That is a possibility, but we would have to look further into this. Remember, Harry is a Parselmouth, snakes could easily have been hidden in those robes of his," Albus said thoughtfully.

"Those facts aside, we still have the problem that he seemed freaked out when Poppy called him Harry." Neville pointed out.

"We would have to approach him cautiously about this issue," the headmaster said looking pointedly at Hermione.

Ignoring the stare from the headmaster, she said triumphantly, "I propose that Severus should be the one to do it."

All of them stared at her incredulously. She shot them a hurtful look and said, "It makes good sense. He's the closest to Harry, since they always have 'discussions' on the dinner table and at his library," earning a glare from the potions master.

"How did you…" Severus trailed off, his glare still fixated on her.

"I did observe him quite thoroughly since the incident at the library, and in turn I get to observe you too," Hermione said with nonchalant air and continued, "Never assume that, if no one likes you, they won't observe you."

"I know that," he spat venomously, "I was just…" he trailed off lost for words.

"Intrigued? Having fun?" Albus said offhandedly.

Severus nodded curtly.

"It is fine to be off guard once in a while, we're not at war anymore." Albus said reassuringly. He paused for a moment, resisting the urge to say more, before adding, "I've always told you that Harry is not the person you've made him to be."

"I know," Severus replied softly. "I've known since the day I found out he was the Apprentice," he added in a softer voice.

* * *

**A/N**

OK... I'm still looking for a beta. Keep that in mind. I would really appreciate it if someone would volunteer or if someone could recommend me one. Thanks for reading R&R k!!


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

Ok this is the shortest I have ever written... I'm sorry. I truly am. As a reader myself I understand that waiting so long and getting this short of a chapter is infuriating, but I'm really busy nowadays... Damn lecturers!! I have not found a beta unfortunately.Sorry for being substandard.

Ok, I decided to add a bit more. I took it out because I was hesitating. I re-read it and thought "Oh, what the heck" So here it is.

**1st August 2008:** Betad version thanks to **Audrey33**.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Less than five years ago**

A dark figure moved silently through the corridor, glancing around calmly, as though nothing bothered him. This, however, was far from the truth. Today was his last chance, his last chance to convince the Apprentice to turn to the light.

Taking several more brisk paces he turned around slowly, took a deep breath and performed a checking spell. Realizing that there was no one around, he headed to his destination quickly. He walked passed several doors and came to a stop in front a familiar looking door. He knocked several times to announce his presence and slipped in quietly and quickly. He turned around to address the person he was looking for, only to find himself staring into a raised wand.

Several moments later, the Apprentice lowered his wand and said, "Sorry. You gave me a fright. I wasn't expecting anyone."

"I apologize for not telling you I was going to visit you today." Severus said in a soft voice.

The younger wizard gave a nod and turned back to his book, closing it. He looked intently at Severus before saying, "You did not come here to merely visit me. There is something troubling you. Speak."

'_This is my chance. I can tell him outright without going through loops._'Severus thought. Looking into the boy's brown eyes, he told himself that he must try to turn the boy. He would not be defeated by the madman. "I-" Severus started. He hesitated for a second before saying. "If I were to betray our Lord, what will you do?"

The younger wizard gave a soft gasp, turned pale and started waving his wand, putting up several charms. He then gave the potions master a harsh glare and said angrily, "Do not speak of such things here."

Startled by the venom in the boy's voice, Severus snapped back. "What do you take me for, a fool? I have already put up the necessary charms outside," His voice was tight with repressed anxiety.

The boy stalked closer and sneered, "Yes, I do. I took you for a fool. What about inside? The walls have ears. What about me? How sure are you, to trust me?"

Severus took a big breath to calm down, trying not to yell or blow up. "I know I can trust you. You saved my life several times, preventing me from falling into _his_ trap. The question is, do _you_ trust _me_?"

The boy paled further, if that was even possible. He looked like he was going to be sick. "I am _his__apprentice_. You should NOT be talking about these kinds of things to me. If _he_ ever found out, my efforts to save you will be all for nothing," the Apprentice hissed venomously, though the effect was off as his face was set into a pained expression.

Calming down slightly at the Apprentice's distress he said softly, "I cannot leave you here. Do you understand?"

The boy shook his head several times and fell silent. After a few moments he spoke in a tired voice. "You are not leaving me here. I chose to be here. There's nothing you can do."

Not one to give up easily, Severus said vehemently, "There is something I can do. The Final Battle is near. Leave him and come with me. We could fight for the light side," he half yelled. Then in a pleading voice he said, "You are like a son to me. I do not want to lose you."

The boy gritted his teeth, as if trying to block out immense pain. Then his face turned blank and he said coldly, "No, I cannot. Please leave. Do not come back. Not even when he summons you for the Final Battle. I will try my best to inform you of things but" his voice cracked, "just don't come back," and then it broke, "Please…"

"I-" He was stunned by the boy's reactions. Not understanding the reason the Apprentice was pushing him, away he said, "Why? I cared for you. Why won't you leave that- that _madman_?"

In the same broken voice he said, "I cannot. You do not understand. I-"

"THEN TELL ME, MAKE ME UNDERSTAND!!" he pleaded aggressively.

"I cannot, do not make me. Just leave. Please."

Severus Snape stood there for a minute, pondering his next move and realizing that he could never convince the boy. The Apprentice looked so lost and small, and knowing that he could never save him made it worst. Feeling his heart break, he looked sadly at the person he thought of as a son one last time and left.

??

**Present**

All the days after the revelation-that Silas is actually Harry-nothing interesting happened. In fact, things seemed to go back to the way they were before anyone knew, except that actually they didn't. Over the past few days, Severus had tried bringing up the subject of Harry Potter to Silas, only to have Potter close up like a clam immediately. There would be no expressions on his face nor would he say a word until the subject was changed. Snape decided that talking to Potter about this was not the way to approach this matter. It was then that he decided to talk to Potter's son instead.

He brought up this plan on the next meeting with Albus, Hermione, Neville and Poppy, only to have Hermione said loudly, "Severus! We cannot do that!!"

Sneering at the witch haughtily, he said, "Explain to me exactly why we can't do this!"

"He would be devastated. Imagine your only confidant betraying your secrets to everyone," Neville spoke up softly as he observed the potions master's expressions.

"We would have to make sure he doesn't find out, then." Poppy said softly.

"No, Poppy. We cannot do this. Neville is right." Albus interjected.

"Would you rather not find out what happened or reconcile with him?" Severus protested.

Silence reigned after that statement. Severus knew all of them were curious about what had happened, and also why Potter did not wait for them to come for him after he was let out of Azkaban after a year of trials.

Hermione gave a shook her head slowly, and said, "I… I would rather he be happy," in a small voice.

"And you think he is happy now?" Severus questioned her.

"I think he would be happier left alone compared to being betrayed by his son." Albus answered instead.

"Let me remind you, he is dying." Poppy said, leaving the '_you would rather he die than risk this?_' unspoken.

Neville gave a determined nod and said, "Then we try curing him first and ask questions later."

"I agree. If everyone is in favor of this idea then I will summon him here after dinner," Poppy said enthusiastically.

After everyone gave their consent and left, Poppy bustled off to look for Harry.

??

Harry's point of view (_Italics and underlined are Parseltongue_

If I add that… Hmmm… Maybe I should find some Junipers in the forest. Then I could…

"Silas?"

Someone's talking. Anyway that spell, I could emphasize on the –_to-_ then it might be right. Wave to the upper left?

"Silas!"

Oh! She's talking to me.

"Yes, Poppy?"

Not that high, maybe a little lower would do it.

"Silas, when you were unconscious that day I've found out that you have an illness. Could you come to the infirmary after dinner? I would like to do another thorough scan."

I could refer to that book. Where is it? Sixth shelve from the back, left end, third row? No, maybe second. Ah, I think it's on the fourth. That's it! Annoying buzzing… Oh, she's still talking. Now, what did she say? Oh, illness…

"Yes, I know. There's no need to cure me."

I could summon it now. What am I suppose to do next? Eat dinner? Yes, I'm heading to the great hall. Right, where am I?

"No need? But Silas, your illness is fatal if not cured!"

Right on track I see. Ok, I should be turning left soon.

"Yes, I know that too."

Ah here it is, the left right after that ugly painting of that blasted Seer. Seers are bullshits.

"_Thanks_"

"_You're welcome, Harry._"

"Can you just come to the infirmary after dinner? We would like to speak to you about this."

Sylvain is waiting. But I don't feel like eating. I could skip dinner and go to the forest now. Wait...we? That means Dumbledore. Oh god, Granger, Snape and Longbottom are going to be there too. Let's hope Weasley is not coming. Damn, I have to get away from this.

"I-"

"Don't you say you can't or you have an appointment or something. You must come. After dinner get it!"

"Yes."

Gosh, I've known Seers are bullshit. But I've never known that medi witches could be that scary. Yes, definitely scarier than a dragon. Dragon liver!! Diced. Yes, that is the missing component. Great!

Oh, I'm here. Eh, she's gone. Ah, Severus is there, I should tell him. No, I forgot he's going to interrogate me later. Humph, then I shall not tell him, serves him right. But I want someone to know. Sylvain wouldn't understand. I have to tell him then. Life is unfair. Why is he so nice now?

* * *

**A/N**

Gosh, I really hope no one wants to kill me... I am really sorry... R&R... I might have to think twice before saying that...


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

I've finally found a beta!! **Audrey33**, you are a live saver.

Ok here's Chapter 8... Enjoy!!

P.S. I think she's kinda busy and her laptop broke? Anyway this is the unbetad version. Let's just say I was anxious to post this...

**20th November 2008:** Finally i updated... Thanks **Audrey33**!!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The doors of the infirmary opened with a loud creak, causing those who were already in the infirmary to cringe at the irritating sound.

"See! Isn't it great! My new spell was a success! " Harry said enthusiastically.

"Yes, I can see that. You were right about flicking to the upper left." Severus answered dryly.

Unfortunately, his sarcastic comment did not reach Harry's ears, as the younger wizard was already seated on the floor, scribbling away on a piece of conjured parchment muttering to himself under his breath. Severus gave a frustrated sigh and said menacingly, "I've had a hard time dragging him here. You better get something out of this," and proceeded to place himself in one of the corners of the infirmary.

Hermione ignored his comment and asked, "What new spell? What does it do?"

Severus muttered something that sounded a lot like, "Interfering want to know-it-all," before answering Hermione's question haughtily, "It's a spell to make doors creak. Do **not** ask me why he would want to create such a spell, as I have no idea what goes on in his mind."

Hermione looked confused for a moment before snapping out of it and tried to get Harry's attention. "Harry? Ermm, Harry!"

Harry looked up dazedly and stared blankly for a while before saying, "Oh Hermione! Do you want to take a look at my notes? "

"No Harry. We need to talk. Come on!" Hermione was a little taken aback by Harry's enthusiasm, not that he didn't do that at times but today he seemed a little over enthused. She stared into his eyes and waited for him to respond. After a moment he stood up suddenly, vanished his parchment and quill, spun around and tried to leave, only to have Albus Dumbledore standing in the way.

"Albus, I need to go." Harry stated calmly. A chilling sensation, no doubt caused by the sudden drop of temperature, permeated through the infirmary.

Albus shook his head slowly. "I'm afraid I cannot let you leave, Silas. You did promise Poppy that you would let her check you up." The room's temperature dropped a few more degrees.

An icy cold voice said, "Not with all of you here. If you insist to be here, then I need to leave." Hissing sound could be heard issuing from Harry but Harry wasn't the one who made it. Suddenly, a snake appeared slithering around Harry's neck still hissing furiously at Albus.

"Please, we can help you Harry." Hermione gasped softly at her slip of tongue and started apologizing, "Harry, I mean Silas I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Miss Granger, I do believe that is enough. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I hope that we would not need to run in circles around this subject." Severus snapped angrily and glared at her.

At that moment, the windows of the infirmary started rattling and Poppy gave a furious shout, "Stop pressuring him!"

"Silas! Listen if you do not want to talk about- about your past, we won't dwell on it. But you have to calm down. Please Silas! Before you damage anything or hurt anyone!" Neville begged anxiously, his eyes still flickering as he kept an eye on the windows.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity of wild magic manifesting, the windows stopped rattling and the temperature went back to normal. All of them stood motionlessly staring at Harry not daring to say a word, waiting for him to make a move.

After a while Harry spoke in a dead tone, "So, it seems that I failed to keep Harry's secret."

Hermione, confused by Harry speaking in third person, exclaimed, "What do-"

"Come Severus, Hermione, Albus. I have something for all of you." Harry spoke in the same deadened tone and stared at the Headmaster until he moved away from the doors.

They all exchanged curious looks and followed Harry out of the Infirmary leaving a put out medi-witch and a worried Herbology professor.

??

Sylvain was pacing the living room waiting for his father, who disappeared after dinner. He started mumbling curses when he realized, "Gosh! I should have known! Professor Snape must be with him."

He stood there for a while contemplating on whether to go looking for Professor Snape, when suddenly the doors slid open and his father stepped in followed by the headmaster and two other professors. "Father! Where did you go? You promise me that you'll tutor me after dinner."

"Sylvain," Harry said in a soft voice. "I need you to stay with the professors. I'll be back in a while."

With that, Harry disappeared through the hallway connecting the living room to the library. Sylvain stood in a defensive posture and started eyeing his father's 'guests'. He, discreetly, took a deep breath and said, "What did you say to him?!"

Hermione started, "We just- he's…" she paused, took a deep breath and said, "Did you know your father's past? I mean before he adopted you."

The boys eyes widened in surprised before his expression turned into that of rage, "WHAT! You can't leave him alone, can't you? He's suffered enough and I don't think you should make it worse!"

"So you do know. Am I right, Mr. Valliere?" Severus said sardonically.

Sylvain glared furiously at his Head of House, "Don't you dare ruin his life again! I will not have it! Even if you are my Professor or my Head of House! I WILL-"

"That will be enough Sylvain. If you cannot keep your temper then you can go to your room." Harry interrupted his son's tirade with a stern voice.

"I'm sorry father. I would prefer to be here. Please?" Sylvain cast his eyes downwards and started shifting his feet.

Harry's stern gaze soften as he said, "Reign in your temper and you can stay. Promise?"

The boy nodded his head determinately. "Yes I promise."

Harry set down a small box on the coffee table and hissed out a password. The box popped open. Inside were pieces of parchment.

Harry fingered the parchments and said softly, "Here are the letters Harry wrote."

Hermione said in a hoarse voice, "You wrote to us? You mean you're not angry?"

Harry shook his head softly, "I do not know. I've never read these." As he said that he took out three from the box and handed them accordingly to them.

"Potter! Will you stop pretending? If you did not write these, then who did?" Severus snapped impatiently.

"Like I said, Harry wrote them." Harry said patiently.

"But you are Harry." Hermione reasoned.

Harry shook his head once more saying, "I'm not. I'm Silas."

Severus snapped angrily, "Do not joke with us Potter!"

"If you are not Harry, then where is he?" Albus asked.

To that, Harry answered, "I can show you but you must promise not to do anything to him." He eyed them suspiciously and added, "but you must first read those letters."

Harry took the box of letters, stood up, beckoned his son to follow him and started walking away. Before he reached the hallway he paused and said, "I believe you will show yourselves out. When you have finished with the letter and still want to meet Harry then come together. Good night."

??

_Dear Hermione,_

_When you get this letter, I believe I will no longer exist. Before I erased my existence I've decided to at least leave something behind to explain myself. Thus I wrote this letter. I hope this will be enough to explain myself, though I do not expect you to understand. I know you cannot comprehend my motives for joining Voldemort during the summer of my 17th birthday. I was not threatened in any way. The decision I made was based on my need to save all of you, the people I loved._

_When Sirius died, I blamed myself. I asked myself, why couldn't I have saved him? Why did I do the things I did that lead to his death? I realize, after a while, that I should not have lingered on my past actions. I must look to the future and strive to do anything possible to save my loved ones. In my sixth year__in Hogwarts, I believed that Professor Dumbledore would arrange some lessons on advance DADA for me, not the lousy stuff that our sixth year DADA professor taught. However, it did not happen that way. I waited patiently for any signs of being taught things that will help me in battling Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Nothing happened, and I got anxious. I had to take things into my own hands. I'm sure, even after you and Ron started dating, that you know I spent a lot of my time in the library looking up spells and practicing them in the Room of Requirement._

_However, it was during the end of sixth year, after a particularly nasty comment made by Professor Snape, that I realized that, without knowing the Dark Arts, there is no way I could defend myself__against them. It makes sense doesn't it? How do you defend yourself against something you don't know? I tried to learn the Dark Arts by myself, but it was impossible. Hogwarts simply does not have the resources. I was again pondering on my dilemma when Voldemort made his offer. Not that he hasn't made this offer before, but at that moment it seemed like the answer to my problems. I said yes. We made a deal and I became his Apprentice. After that, I slaved myself learning all that I could while discreetly hinting secrets to Professor Snape to help the Order. Service under the Dark lord is not easy, but I made it through. I even found spells that could trap souls and destroy them. I cunningly cheated my way into victory like the Slytherin I am. _

_After destroying Voldemort's soul I was in a way incapacitated. The assault on my magic and soul after using such Dark magic was enormous. Coupled with the attacks from Professor Snape, I thought that I would die._

_I was unlucky it seems, as not only did I not die, I was sent to Azkaban by the Ministry. After Azkaban, I was a mess. A week after I was released, I went looking for a person to continue the Potter legacy. That was when I found Sylvain. If not for Sylvain, I would have died sooner, by my own hands. I was less depressed for a while, but I couldn't live peacefully. I was a haunted man. My mind was wasting away quite rapidly and if I did nothing, I would die mentally before Sylvain was 17. My research proved that by erasing Harry Potter, Silas could at least live on mentally until my body wasted away, which by my calculation should happen after Sylvain's 19th birthday._

_Hermione, I'm gone. Harry is gone. It would be best if I not return. I hope you live on happily in the world I sacrificed myself to create._

_Your friend,_

_Harry._

??

_Dear Severus,_

_First and foremost, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was the Apprentice. I did not expect to care for you, much less for you to care about me. I would understand if you would want to throw this letter away but if you would read on I would really appreciate it._

_I know you care not for Harry Potter, so I would not bore you with the long history of how I became the Apprentice. In all, I did it for the people I loved. You were right when you said, "How do you expect to defeat something you do not understand, Potter! Read your Potions textbook for once, you imbecile!" I made my decision that day to at least know the basic of Dark Arts, but Hogwarts simply does not have the resources. I finally turned to Voldemort in thirst for forbidden knowledge and I did learn a lot. It was you who help me stay rooted at times-both when I'm at Hogwarts and also in Voldemort's presence._

_I know you tried to help me, but my goal was not to turn to the light side. I was already on the light side, but I was also hidden in the shadows bidding my time like a viper, waiting for the right time to strike. You see, Voldemort knows I'm not completely loyal to him. I got punished if he found out I'd been leaking information, but I was never killed. He needed me around as he did not know about the prophecy. He was unsure if killing me would be the best thing to do. Learning Occulmency from you in sixth year was my best decision ever._

_When you threw the Strangling Hex at me, right after I destroyed Voldemort's soul, I was so sure I was going to die. That piece of Dark Magic took a lot out of me. As I thought about it, I kind of realize now why I didn't die at that time. Maybe it was stubbornness, but I didn't want my blood in your hands. I didn't want you to feel guilty. I wasn't sure if you would, feel guilty that is, but I did not want to take the chance. I understood your motive behind that hex. However, it does not take out the pain I felt when I saw betrayal in your eyes. I was furious for a moment. I thought, you were the one who betrayed me, why should you feel betrayed. Then as I saw the pain in your eyes I understood. I know that it was I who betrayed your trust by pretending to be someone else. I was the one who betrayed my loved ones, including you, by not trusting my loved ones enough to tell them the truth._

_I loved you. I really looked at you as my uncle, of sorts, during the year I was in his service. I know you'll resent the fact that I save your life a couple of times. Look at it as my way of getting even with you. You saved my life so many times, yet I never thanked you._

_Severus, thank you for everything. I hope you live on happily in the world I sacrificed myself to create._

_For the record, I'm gone. Harry Potter is no more. It is best that I do not return. Live on peacefully._

_Yours truly,_

_Harry_

_??_

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I know you have some idea on what happened to me. Do not attempt to get me back. I do not want to live my life anymore. There are no more roads for me to walk on. The only way I could continue walking, is by going away and letting someone else take my place. Silas will be a good father to Sylvain. I'm too mentally damaged to be a father. I do not want to be a bad father. I do not want my son to have no childhood, like me. I know you had no choice but to leave me with the Dursleys. I forgive you for that._

_I had to take matters into my own hands. I'm sorry I defied you. You weren't doing anything to assure Voldemort's defeat in my hands. I know you once said love is the power the Dark Lord knows not. It is love that made me join Voldemort in the first place. I wanted to protect all of you and I succeeded. So you were right. But I guess you didn't mean it this way when you said that. What's done is done Professor, there is no turning back._

_You must be wondering why I did not wait for you to come for me after the Ministry signed my release from Azkaban. I could not wait for you. I do not want you to see how far I had fallen. How my decision ruined me, but saved the world. I had no desire to find out if my nightmares in Azkaban are true or not. All I want is peace and I'm finding peace soon._

_Please don't make me come back. Leave things the way they are. I hope you live on happily in the world I sacrificed myself to create._

_Sincerely,_

_Harry._

* * *

**A/N**

Gosh, I'm finally done! Thank god.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

Ok here's Chapter 9. Not beta-ed though. My beta is having some problem. Anyway Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"Plimpy"

At that word, a hidden door somewhere on the fourth floor of the castle, slid open soundlessly. A red head, namely Ron, adjusted the pack he carried, took of his cloak, hanged it on the cloak hanger and dropped his bag unceremoniously, causing a thud. He flinched at the loudness of the sound, waiting for Hermione to come out of somewhere usually the kitchen, and start berating him. When no Hermione came barging out of the kitchen, he wondered, 'Where is she?'

Suddenly he heard a small sob coming from their room. Curious, he went to the door and opened it slowly. Hermione looked up sharply at the sound of the door opening, proceeded to hug him and started to bawl her eyes out. Instinctively, he hugged her back and started petting her head, whispering, "It's ok. Whatever happened, it's gonna be ok. We're going to work it out."

"No, it won't be," she said in a hoarse voice. Not knowing what to say, Ron continued holding her until she finally released him. She picked up a piece of parchment that was on the bed, thrust it into Ron's hands and said, "Read it." Then she stalked of to the bathroom, presumably to freshen up.

A few minutes later, Hermione came out of the bathroom, looking much calmer than she felt, to find Ron sitting on the edge of the bed motionlessly, staring of into space. She understood that he needed time to digest the information, so she sat right beside him leaning on him and waited for him to snap out of it.

After a while of sitting in silence, Ron finally spoke, "Mione, does this means he's dead?"

Tears sprung into Hermione's eyes at that question. She took a deep breath trying to hold them in and softly said, "I don't know Ron."

She felt his hold on her tighten when he spoke again, "I don't understand. Where did you get this letter?"

"Oh, Ron I forgot you weren't there." Groaning at her own stupidity, she told him their confrontation in the Hospital Wing and how she came to this letter. When she finished Ron immediately stood up and said, "Do you think he has one for me?"

Startled by his sudden movement, she questioned, "What do you mean?"

"A letter! I mean does he have a letter for me too." Ron said, wringing his hand anxiously, the letter flipping in his hold.

Hermione quickly retrieve the letter from him before he could damage it and said, "I would think so."

"Then I'm going to see him. Now."

With that he marched out of the room with Hermione rushing to keep up.

??

"Severus? Albus?" Ron halted when he saw these two men outside Harry's door. "What are you doing here?" Ron and Severus said simultaneously.

"To see Harry." They answered, simultaneously again. Albus and Hermione gave a small smile when the two men started glaring and bristling at the 'coincidence'.

Albus tried placating them, mostly because he was impatient, by saying, "Well, it looks like we'll have to see him together, don't we." All the other three looked apprehensive at that notion but nodded anyway. The headmaster then started knocking on the door and waited.

The wall slid open slightly and Sylvain's head popped out. He scowled magnificently and said venomously, "Back so soon?"

Albus gave a sigh at the boy's protectiveness towards his father. "Yes. Your father did say to come back once we've finished dealing with the letter's contents."

The young wizard remain in his current position with an apprehensive look on his face, still staring at them before sighing and said, "You do know you're slowly killing him?"

Taken aback by that comment Severus snapped, "What do you mean?"

Raising his voice Sylvain said, "I mean, he is not emotionally well and this fiasco is draining him magically and that is not good for his already fragile health."

"Magically, how?" Hermione asked curiously as there seems to be no connection between these two aspects.

The boy gave another sigh retrieved his head and opened the door fully. "I guess you'll need to come in. It's a long story."

Ron, who was quite sure Sylvain wouldn't want Harry to be hear this as he himself felt that way, said "Is this a good idea? Your father-"

"This is what I'm talking about okay! He's now in the library doing 'research'! So just come in!" The boy half shouted that the adults.

After they all al seated and served tea, Sylvain started his tale.

"My father, Harry, adopted me three years ago. When I first saw him, he looked scary. Not intimidating scary, more like haunted scary, if you get what I mean. Anyway, I only agreed to be adopted because he sounded and acted really kind and caring. He took me to this house in Argenteuil, France and we lived there till I finally got my letter from Beauxbatons. He was really a good person but I don't think he was meant to be a father. He bought loads of book to learn how to be one. I didn't really noticed at first but he's really weird. His smiles are somewhat strained. Don't get me wrong I think he really loved me but I guess he's not comfortable with that in the first place. Then slowly I realized more things. He doesn't 

sleep much. He only eats with me. He's always doing something. There's no relax time where you lounge around, not for him."

Hermione interrupted with a question, "What do you mean by he doesn't sleep much."

"Just that. He sleeps a few hours at every night. Sometimes I think he doesn't sleep at all." Sylvain answered.

Wondering how much a few hour actually means in this context, Severus asked, "A few hours?"

"Yes, one or two hours usually. At most three. I stayed up a few nights to ascertain this." He paused, and continued, "Before you ask, when I say he only eats when I'm around it means he only eats when we are having a meal together. When I'm over at my friends or something he doesn't even bother cooking."

Making sure they had no more questions he continued, "He was like that for a while, steadily getting worse. One day, about six months later, he pulled me aside and asked me a very weird sounding question. 'Would you rather be an orphan once more or would you rather have a new father?' To say I panicked was an understatement. He calmed me down eventually, according to him it took him half an hour or so, and explained his intentions. It was rather bizarre. I had a hard time accepting his proposal. He gave me a week to decide. I told him I would rather have a new father the very next day."

"But- I- How could-" Ron sputtered incoherently.

"Before you judge me, I would rather you listen to what I have to say." Sylvain said darkly, shutting Ron up effectively.

"He told me soon he would be incapable in mind to raise me properly and he doesn't want me back at the orphanage. So he has been doing some research on how to solve this problem. I don't know how he did this but what he meant at that time was a different person in the same body. The father I know would be lost or dead according to how you see it, but I would get another father in return. It took some getting use to but Silas is a good father. He tried to be, at least. It was rather funny at first, how he would consult a booklet for a reaction to everything and anything I do. I got away with a lot of things Harry would punish me for. Eventually got the gist of it and you could say he's still learning. He was less haunted at least."

All of them sat in silence for a while, their thoughts still on the subject where, Harry somehow replaced himself with Silas. After a while Ron spoke, "You still haven't answered our initial question."

Confused, Sylvain was going to say he had no idea when he suddenly remembered, "You meant how he was drained magically?"

"Yes." Hermione said solemnly.

"When he's stressed he usually occupies himself to the point of magical exhaustion. That is why he hides in the library a lot and walks around half dazed most of the time. Even worst, I can't be here all the time 

to keep an eye on him. This 'fiasco' of yours is stressing him out. Just being around you all, landed him in the infirmary. Soon enough he's going to collapse again."

Shocked by how much they influenced Harry's lifestyle, Severus cautiously asked, "So you would suggest us not to bother him again today?"

Giving that question a thought Sylvain finally sighed heavily and said, "Might as well get it over with. At least I'll be here during the weekend. Go on, he's at the library doing spell research as usual."

"Thank you and sorry" Hermione and Albus said in earnest.

Scrutinizing them, he came to a conclusion that they are sincere. The young wizard gave a small smiled and gestured for them to go.

??

All of them arrived at the study table in the library to find Harry waving his wand in a peculiar manner, dictate his quill and continues waving it. Deciding to risk being accidentally hexed and get this over with, Ron started poking Harry's shoulder, "Ha-Silas?"

Harry stopped waving almost immediately, lowered his wand and blinked owlishly at Ron, "Ron? Oh do you need something?"

"Ermm yes. Do you have Harry's letter for me?" Ron said, deciding to go straight to the point.

Harry smiled serenely and replied, "Of course." He went to his desk banished some books and parchment, retrieved a box, opened it and handed one of the parchment to Ron.

Turning around he addressed the rest of his guest, "All of you are here. I take it that you've read Hermione's letter?"

"Yes," Ron said hesitantly.

"Good. So do you want to go see Harry?" Harry said indifferently.

"Yes," all of them said at the same time.

"Follow me then."

With that he started walking toward the back of the library. After a while they came to a door, silvery light was filtering out through the cracks. Harry waved his wand, muttered several choiced words and opened the door. Inside were shelves of hundreds of vials containing silvery thick substances.

No one said a word for quite a while. The silence was finally broken by Hermione who literarily choked out her question, "Are those memories?"

"Yes. Those are Harry's memories. By removing all of his memories, he is by common sense erased from the mind of this body, allowing me to come forth and live in his stead for Sylvain." Harry explained listlessly.

Severus gasped softly and said unbelievingly, "All? Every single memory? It is to my knowledge that when you take out a memory it only dampens the clarity of the memory not remove it."

"Normally that would be the case but using an obscure piece of magic Harry had devised a way to actually remove the memory entirely from the conscious mind. Subconsciously, however, I suspect there is still some of him in there. That would explain the weird nightmares and my fear of them which isn't explainable as I have no reason to be afraid." Harry said nonchalantly.

"I- Thank you Silas for telling us." Albus said dejectedly. He turned around and spoke to his companions, "I think we should leave now. Silas has been most gracious in answering our questions and demands. It would be most impolite for us to intrude upon his hospitality much longer."

"Of course, Albus." Looking at Silas Hermione continued, "Thank you Silas."

"Thank you." Severus and Ron said simultaneously.

After all of them leave, Harry replace the box containing the letters in its rightful place, stepped out of the room and proceeded to lock the door.

* * *

**A/N**

Anyway its ending soon I think, I have some more stuff I need to explain And just in case I missed out something I would appreciate if you readers could drop a review and tell me what you want to know. Thanks! R&R!


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

I know this is kinda short. Sorry... Not beta-ed

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Four years ago**

Albus gave a start when his office door opened and closed with a loud bang. He was about to chastise Severus for not knocking or at least be gentler when he caught the look of utter despair etched on his face. Severus made his way to the nearest chair and sat down heavily. Sensing that the man needed time to gather himself, Albus waited for Severus to speak.

Eventually he spoke, in a soft voice which doesn't sound like him at all, "I've failed, Albus. He's not coming."

The headmaster gave Severus a sympathetic smile, "I gathered as much. Look, Severus, it is time this ended once and for all. I understand that Voldemort is going full force in the upcoming attack on Hogsmeade, we might as well do the same. I shall inform Harry-"

"That boy isn't ready! We do not have any means to ensure Voldemorts death!" Severus sneered condescendingly at that idea.

"Severus, you've underestimated Harry. He has learned a lot during this year." Albus said gently, trying to placate the raging potions master.

Severus gave a snort and retorted, "One year will not make much of a difference. He is still a boy! A seventeen years old boy who is ignorant and- "

Raising his voice to interrupt Severus, Albus stressed, "That is enough Severus! There are things you do not understand. I believe Harry can do it. We developed plans to capture Voldemort's soul-"

"Capture his soul? We must destroy it, Albus!" Severus said incredulously, still staring at the headmaster unable to actually believe the plan.

Albus shook his head slowly, as if he was trying shake off any doubts, "Using dark magic? We cannot taint him like that! I've done enough damage by sending him to the Dursleys. I will not allow him to practice the Dark Arts!"

Severus inhaled sharply, as he finally understood why the headmaster has been so reluctant to train the boy properly. He continued staring at his mentor, taking in the reality. Suddenly all he saw was an old man who has been burdened for too long pass his prime. Albus had always seemed so strong. They have all depended on him for the smallest things. What the world didn't know was that Albus Dumbledore was only human. He does his share of mistakes and misjudgments. Severus hesitated before, against his better judgment, saying, "By trying to retain his childhood, Albus, you've doomed the wizarding world!"

"I know!" the normally calm Headmaster finally flew off the handle. Silence greeted his words.

"I know," he said again softly. Shocked at Albus' outburst Severus opted not to say anything but continue studying the older wizard. Albus buried his head in his hands, trying to regain control of his feelings.

They sat in silence until the Headmaster broke it, "I'm sorry Severus I still have many things to arrange. Do not go back to Voldemort. Stay here until the last battle."

The headmaster looked up, there was a grim look in his eye when he said, "I'll see you at dinner Severus."

Nodding his head at the dismissal, Severus left the Headmaster's office

??

Two days later, order members and reluctant, ministry associated aurors were hidden in Hogsmeade awaiting the oncoming attack. They didn't have to wait long. Right on time Death Eaters apparated into Hogsmeade and chaos ensued. Severus fought for the light side, hoping that he will not run into the Apprentice. If he ever did run into the boy he might hesitate to attack his – friend.

They fought for over one hour, when finally the biggest threat of the wizarding world appeared in the middle of the skirmish. Severus watched discreetly as Potter stepped up to face the Dark Lord. He was surprised when he saw them talking for quite a while. Then he saw Granger firing a blasting curse at the Dark Lord. He was even more surprised when it was Potter who deflected the curse. For a full few seconds no one moved, then the Dark Lord spoke, "As you can see Harry is on my side. In fact he has been on my side since last summer. May I introduce to you my apprentice, Harry Potter."

??

**Present**

_Harry is gone._

Severus looked at his letter and buried his head into his hands.

_Why is the boy so forgiving?! I tried to kill him for Merlin's sake and he just tells me he understands!_

He snatched the letter of the table and read it again. Inevitably he started recounting the events that happened over four years ago during the Final Battle.

-Flashback-

Severus was dueling Avery when he caught a glimpse of Potter in Honeydukes. He turned his attention back to Avery, intending to finish this duel as fast as possible. Casting a silent tripping jinx, he got Avery to stumble and finished it of with a sectumsempra to the neck, severing it cleanly.

Dodging a stray spell, Severus hastily made his way towards Honeydukes. Blasting open the door he stepped in and saw Potter falling to the ground. Boiling with rage, he was unaware of Granger and 

Weasley arriving. It was Weasley's screaming of betrayal and Granger's sobbing that made him snap out of his raging stupor.

Severus spoke, his voice suppressed with fury, "You traitor! You deceived me! Does it please you to have me following you around like a dog?!" he rashly cast a strangling curse on Potter determined to watch the light in the boy's brilliant green eyes fade away. Severus watched, in and odd sense of fascination, as Potter struggled weakly against the invisible pressure on his neck.

"Professor!! Noo!!" Granger screamed shrilly and started tugging at his robes trying to stop the curse. It took both Weasley and Granger to finally stop him from killing Potter. When the spell ended, Potter fell to the ground in a heap. Granger instinctively stepped forward to help the boy, but she stopped when Weasley held her arm firmly preventing her advancement.

"Ron. Please…" she pleaded softly as she tried removing his hand from her arm.

"No.. We- he's not…" Weasley stumbled through his words.

Then a hoarse voice spoke, "Don't"

"Harry? Why did you do it?! Y-you b-betrayed us! How could you?!" Granger said, her voice hoarse from suppressed tears. Potter gave a blank look and she broke into tears.

"What happened to you?! Who are you?!" Weasley bellowed as he held Granger, preventing from her slumping to the ground.

At that, Potter gave a bitter, cynical laugh. He continued laughing as he tried to sit up. After failing several times he, using the wall as leverage, raised his wand. Their immediate reaction to this was raising their own wands at Potter as well, all with a spell at the tip of their tongues. But they were all perplexed when Potter aimed at the corner of the shop and incanted, "Avada Kedavra"

A thick flash of eerie green light erupted from Potter's wand towards the corner, illuminating it. Then they saw it.

The Dark Lords body, crumpled at the corner of Honeydukes.

They turned around simultaneously, seeking the answer to their many questions from Potter, just in time to see him collapse. Granger let out an ear-splitting shriek and rushed forward and started muttering healing spells frantically. When she had done all she could, she held the boy's head in her arms, muttering the words, I'm sorry, over and over again. Weasley stood motionlessly at the same spot all the while, petrified by the turn of events. Severus fell on his knees thinking, '_What have I done?_'

When the aurors found them, they took Potter away and threw him in Azkaban.

One year later, the ministry decided that Potter was innocent.

-End Flashback-

Picking up his teacup from the side table, he threw it against the wall with a snarl.

_So what if we restore his memories. He'll just be the broken man he was when he decided to leave._

Growling dangerously he proceeded to blast his tea set into smithereens and stalked out of his room, determined to get his friend back.

_There must be a way!_

* * *

**A/N**

R&R!! Ok... Tell me if i missed something.


	12. Epilogue

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and its characters does not belong to me. The plot does though...

Ok here is the end... Thanks for sticking by me!!

* * *

**Epilogue**

Sounds of books ruffling permeated the library. Hermione Granger stepped in cautiously, looking around taking in the mess. When she heard rumors of Professor Snape running amuck in the school library chasing out students with his 'scary' vibe, she gaped incredulously at the prefect confirmed that rumor. Once she made sure the student was not playing a prank on her she decided to check out the library to see if it is as bad as it seems. Standing at the entrance of the library with a fuming Madame Pince behind her, she realized it was definitely that bad. "I'll try to get him out if I can. I'm really sorry about this," Hermione said patronizingly to the seething librarian. Madame Pince gave a curt nod and stalked off menacingly.

Sighing loudly she followed the trail of books.

"Severus? Which section are you in?" she asked loudly, still trying to find the potions master.

Severus appeared suddenly around the corner and said, "Hermione! Come, you can help. Here take a book." He gave her a book and went back behind the shelf. She stared at the book and read aloud, "Psychology of Wizards Demented by Dementors."

Gathering her wits, Hermione peeked around the corner Severus appear and spoke softly, "Severus, are you sure you want to get him back?"

"Of course I am!" Severus said curtly, dropped the book he was holding on the floor and picked out another one from the shelf.

Hermione reasoned, "Severus, you have to consider his feelings. He might not want to-"

"Well we won't know won't we? Since he's now _unavailable_," Severus interrupted her rudely. He stopped flipping the pages of the book in his hand and glared at the witch. "If you are not going to help then leave. I do not need someone to be my conscience as mine is working fine enough. Besides, it's telling me to get him back and help him. I will not leave him to wallow in his own misery!"

Taking in his words, Hermione stood there petrified for a moment before opening the book she's holding and started reading. Severus smiled slightly at her gesture and continued flipping his book, and thinking 'Well_ looks like I've found a partner in crime, a perfect one as well. Not that I'll admit it to her, but she is brilliant in research.'_

??

Like a wise man once said, "What happened is a complete secret, so, naturally the whole school knows."1 So, it was not a big surprise when Albus Dumbledore and Ron Weasley appeared in the library and started on the research. However due to Madame Pince's insistent pestering, the group moved their research to an unused, private room hidden behind the library. They all sat in the library over the weekend, finally getting an idea how badly damage Harry's mind was, to bring about such a drastic decision to erase his own existence.

From what they gathered from the numerous books they have been through no one has ever tried removing or _oblivating_ a whole life of memories. However there are cases where by using accidental magic, certain traumatic memories were block from being access by the patient. Mind healers have found that be slowly removing the blocks and reintroducing memories with correct guidance and support, the patient's mind , although it takes a lot of time and effort, have proved to heal sufficiently.

Now there is only one more obstacle to go through, Sylvain.

"Why must we get permission from that kid?!" Severus protested, glaring at the person who made the suggestion.

Ignoring Severus' glare Hermione went on saying, "Well he is Harry's son. It's only reasonable that we ask him first, like how Harry gave him a choice back when he wanted to remove his memories."

The rest of the group, namely Albus and Ron, nodded their head sagely. Defeated Severus gave his agreement as well.

??

"WHAT!!" Sylvain's surprised yell after sitting dazed for two whole minutes, gave Ron such a fright that he almost fell of his chair.

"You mean Harry'll be back? What about Silas?" Sylvain asked frantically, his face contorted into a mixture of emotions, mainly happiness and concern.

"Silas will remain. He is part of Harry. What we are trying to do is bring Harry back. So do you think it will be ok?" Hermione reassured the boy.

Sylvain fidgeted in his chair, hesitating, wondering if this would be the best for his father. After a while he looked up, scrutinized them carefully and said, "Okay."

The group, minus Albus, sighed in relief. Hermione brightened up immediately and gave Sylvain a grateful smile, "Thank you Sylvain." Then she got serious, "There is something else though. Do you think you can persuade your father to let us help him heal? I'm sure you know that your father health is very bad. If he would let us help him…" she trailed of uncertainly.

"He won't die so soon?" Sylvain asked, his eyes shining with hope.

"Yes." Severus answered firmly.

Sylvain gave a small nod, as if he was trying to reassure himself.

"I will try," he said in a small voice.

??

Two Years Later

"Goodbye Professor Weasley!"

Hermione smile at the first year and said, "Goodbye Ms. Keane. Be good over summer."

Hermione and Ron got married a year ago. Their wedding ceremony was a beautiful day, there was a spot of trouble but that trouble was worth the trouble. Everything went smoothly until the dinner after their vows were made.

-Flashback-

Hermione looked around the crowd trying to find the distinct black with white streaks among a sea of red. Frowning slightly when she was unsuccessful, she pulled Ron away from Zabini, "Ron, I'm going to find Harry."

His goofy, smiling face immediately turned serious, "Okay. You go get him I'll keep an eye on things here. If it gets bad-"

"I'll heat up the coin, yes," she interjected he husband smoothly. Squeezing his hand reassuringly, she said, "It'll be ok. I know we haven't made much progress but I'm sure we will get through him someday."

"Hmmm." He hummed a yes.

"Well, I'll be going then." She said quietly and gave him a peck on the lips.

The only place he could be off brooding was the yard behind the Burrow. Picking up her pace, she was about to turn the corner when she caught a movement in the shadows.

"Severus? Are you there?" Hermione whispered.

A low voice came from the shadows under a tree nearby, "He's been sitting there since after you made the vow."

"You followed him?" she whispered back, looking around the corner trying get a peek at Harry.

Severus walked out of the shadows retorted smoothly, "Of course, I did."

Mentally noting that Severus was a brilliant spy, she asked, "Did you try talking to him?"

"No," came the short reply.

Hermione heaved a sigh, glared half-heartedly at the potions master and approached Harry cautiously. As she got closer she saw how he was sitting hunched on the edge of the pond, staring blankly ahead.

"Harry?"

Hermione gave him a moment to look up and when he did she continued, "Can I sit here?" She gestured at the spot beside him. He stared at her, his green eyes blank as usual, for a while before giving an almost imperceptible nod.

Slowly, Hermione sat down a little bit away from him.

"Harry, are you ok?" she asked softly.

"I think so," Harry mumbled, still not looking at her.

Sighing internally she pointed out, "If you are, then why are you sitting here away from the celebration?"

Instead of answering his question, he asked, "Are you upset than I'm not celebrating?"

Taken aback by his bizarre question, she wondered '_Do I look upset?_'

Then she quickly answered, "No, I was just wondering if you are alright."

At this Harry looked up for a moment before he went back to staring ahead blankly. After a long moment of silence she ventured, "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

Casting around for a reason why Harry was suddenly in one of his brooding mood, she said instinctively said, "Are you upset that Ron and I got married?"

Harry stiffened visibly at these words. Realizing that she had touched a nerve, she wanted to change the subject. But dancing around how he feels about this isn't going to help much. She was about to talk more on this subject when suddenly Harry spoke hoarsely.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" she prodded.

"I- I… I'm supposed to feel happy right? But I can't. I just can't," he said softly his voice muffled as he buried his head in his hands. Hermione said nothing waiting for him to continue.

"I'm supposed to play my part. I'm supposed to say the lines and do whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing if it would make everyone feel more comfortable. But I don't... I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be this person. I don't know who this person is."

And then Harry burst into tears hugging his knees, looking so small and vulnerable. A split second before she hugged him, she thought, '_Finally…_'

-End Flashback-

That was the first time Harry cried, if she was not mistaken, since Sirius died. After that day, things went smoothly. They met a few bumps on the way but his recovery was essentially successful. Thinking back, she realized that Harry and Severus did not come to send the students off.

'_They must be in the library_.' She thought before going off to pack up and go home to the Burrow.

??

The library door slammed opened loudly. However the occupants of the library did not even flinched at that loud noise. A moment later, footsteps thundered though the library and came to a stop in front of a small looking, pale man with white streaked black hair, and black haired, tall but thin man in black robes.

An unbearably loud voice barked at one of them. "Granduncle Severus! You are suppose to keep an eye on father not encourage him to sink in more into his books!"

The man retorted without even looking up, "Do not speak to me like that kid. We are on the verge of a breakthrough! If you are worried go get us some food."

Sensing a sneer from his granduncle, Sylvain snorted and, childishly, blew a raspberry at him.

A laughter filled voice resonated through the library, "Do as he say Sylvain. I'm kinda getting hungry."

"I'm not your servant!" Sylvain said angrily and left in a huff. Once he was outside the library he smiled, amused by their, his father and Granduncle Severus', antics. Thinking of what sandwiches he was going to order from the house elves, he whistled all the way to the kitchens.

* * *

**A/N**

Ok anyway... If i miss put anything please tell me R&R!! Thanks!! I love you guys!


End file.
